Kittens, Knitting, and Random Blah

First object of sorrow is the fact that I may have to rip back and reknit the entire body and first sleeve of my sweater. Ugh. So I won't get to wear that as soon as I'd hoped.

Second object of sorrow is band related. My director has informed us that due to there being supposedly twice the number of people interested in bass clarinet as she is willing to accept, who plays will be decided by audition. On the soprano clarinet. That in itself is total BS. I can only think of one person who wants to play other than me. Maybe two. And one of them isn't sure she's even going to stay in band after marching season. Beyond the fact that playing soprano is a different story than playing bass. The mouthpiece of the bass is bigger, and horizontal. The keys are further apart. It takes more air.

I almost think she's setting me up. She knows damn well that I cannot play soprano as well as anyone else, even at my grade level, because of three things: I began playing a year after they did, I switched to bass almost immediately and played THAT for THREE AND A HALF YEARS, and I hate soprano. You can not be truly good at something your heart isn't in. I have the most experience of them all at the part we are auditioning for. And she knows that, too! I would have to drop band if I didn't get to play bass. The joy would be gone. You would think that because of my immense seniority AND the fact that I was in first chair for all of the past three years- including when I went to Livingston County High School Honors Band in a 49 person Wind Ensemble -she'd already know that I am the best she's got. I've already proven myself. She stuck me into a band that was for Juniors and Seniors as a Sophomore, and I accelled! Sure, my one solo was a little quiet at Festival, but she can't hold that against me; I'd never had it as an actual solo before; Meaghan had always been there for me. And she had Jordan supposedly supporting me at Festival. Where was he?

But oh! I need to get that part! I must practice the audition piece day and night. And I came to the realization that my musical existance rests in a single reed. One piece of music, one reed. For a reed can make or break you in an audition. O my gods! Help me!